“Because a lady knows when to leave”- Kenneth Jay Lane

I recently watched a film with my sister, where we both cried and felt our experiences mirrored with those of the women on the screen. In the film, Women Talking, the women of an isolated religious colony must make a difficult decision after a group of men from their colony are found to have been drugging and raping hundreds of them for years. They gather to decide on the actions they should take given the circumstances:

1. Do nothing
2. Stay and fight
3. Leave 

Observing their collective decision making made me reflect on the difficult journeys many women, including those in my own family, have faced when confronted with abuse, exploitation, and an imbalance of power. I couldn’t help but see a mirror for myself, my sisters, my mother, my aunts, and grandmothers among the long line of women who have experienced adversity and made to choose their destiny.

The women in my family and bloodline have endured and tolerated many pains and with that comes experience. From that comes knowledge followed by wisdom for the women who choose better for themselves.

The women in my life who stayed in unhealthy marriages, partnerships, jobs, and or relationships, grappled with the decision of whether to stay and do nothing, fight, or leave usually stayed out of fear- not love.

Leaving was rarely an option for various reasons, and I now understand that bigger lesson is in knowing when to leave in any circumstance where love is not at forefront of their presence. This is key to understanding that fear is courage becoming known and embodying it for change to be the catalyst for the life desired.

Leaving is not just a physical act; it’s an emotional and spiritual shift. It’s about honoring your worth, your peace, and your purpose. Whether it’s a toxic relationship, a job that drains you, or a situation that disrespects you—knowing when to walk away is one of the most empowering choices a woman can make.

I hope that more women begin to recognize their own worth and understand the importance of knowing when to leave, because sometimes, the greatest act of self-love is choosing your own freedom and well-being.

Learning to get up from the table when love is no longer being served is embodied wisdom for the ages.

May we past this on to our daughters so that they move with intention, consciousness and self love.

I see you.

You See me.

I love you.

Zeahlot

P.S. Watch the talk I gave to a group of amazing women at Womentum’s 8th annual Leadership Summit in November of 2024!