How It All Started

The last time I was 95 lbs, I watched my father die in the hospital in 3 months. My body was stretched for capacity and holding on for dear life. I was expanding, and it was painful. My body took a toll from the level of stressors.

Running two businesses online, managing a team of 10, and still seeing clients. I would take turns with my sister staying in the hospital with dad week after week during COVID, and sleeping on a very uncomfortable chair in a cold room with the constant beeping of monitors.

Aug 4, 2021 - I watched him die front row center. Just me. Alone in the room. No one to hold the pain for me. Forced to confront the pain of losing my favorite parent.

After that, it was as if my life resembled the tower card. Everything fell apart little by little. The most ironic part was that the year my father died was the year I made $40k months on repeat.

And thereafter, the momentum died off quickly in my coaching business.

6 months after my father died, in my oceanfront apartment on the 11th floor with a breathtaking view of Long Beach, I woke up a new bitch.

Literally, a new bitch.

I didn't want to pretend that things were ok because they weren't. Nothing in my life felt like it fit me anymore.

That morning, I sat with the life-changing decision of retiring both licenses to practice psychotherapy and closing down my private practice, generating 6 figures a year, insurance-free. Cash pay clients only. Prepaid on the first of the month, and I had a waitlist.

A permanent decision that looked craaaazy to all my colleagues who knew what I built over the years from scratch. I was burning the boats in case I was ever tempted to go back to misalignment.

On my 35th birthday, June 13, 2022, I retired my psychotherapy licenses, sold 80% of my belongings, and traveled for 5 months. I haven't looked back since.

After that, more shedding... but this time it shifted me to the depths of what I thought was my "identity."

Bankruptcy that left me with $15 in my bank account
Have my car repoed and then ride the bus to and from.
Moving to 3 homes in 3 different states over 6 months.
Breaking up with long-time girl friends who felt like home but no longer aligned.
Homelessness.
Betrayal from my own blood.
Having my body break down, and my entire digestive system stop.

...Then August of 2025

Moving my mother out of a mold infested hoard 6 bedroom, two-story home in 2 months flat, without help from any friends, family, or siblings. Not because I didn't ask for help, but because helping would require acknowledgment of what they were avoiding with my mother's chaos.

2025 - Year of the Snake

I couldn't blame them. It was heavy to look at, let alone step into. Taxes were unfiled incorrectly, if at all, for the last 4 years. IRS debt $20k. 4 accounts in collections with about $6k debt. House insurance was turned off for several years. House repairs are incomplete, with no follow-through from contractors. Mold in 70% of the house.

Police report for men in the Dominican Republic who scammed my mother out of $15k over two years with time share promises. 80% of the home is uninhabitable due to my mother long life hoarding. Two fridges full of rotting food. Cognitive decline. Medication was stopped for over 9 months. Multiple missed doctor visits. Dentist bill $2k... overdue months. Grief in installments with a pay-in-full.

That experience stretched me more than I ever imagined possible. I didn't know it at the time; I was becoming the woman who would hold heavier life experiences coming my way soon.

As her solo full-time caregiver, the weight of decisions right now is a new level for me in my stewardship of her resources, medical care, and legal decision-making.

Planning 10 years ahead because the unknown factors remain big questions we don't know the answers to: how long she will live, and how much we can cover for memory care facilities when the time comes. This is a new level of the game for me.

Even after all the fires I've been through in the last 5 years, having a loved one with dementia is another level of experience. One that requires you to confront everything you fear looking at.

Now, I watch my mother die little by little, day by day.

They say that your greatest breakthrough is in the pain of your becoming.

My lived experience is proof of that.

It's why instead of giving strategy or advice, I look at what stage of life you're experiencing and how it shows up in your business, love, and life.

Some things aren't meant to be understood; they're meant to be lived.

They're meant to be felt in the body, painfully and deeply. They're meant to be lived so that you can embody the truth of the experience. They're meant to be the fire that forges who you are in the pressure of the becoming. They're meant to uncover what the fire makes you capable of holding.

And the final product forged from multiple fires? CAPACITY.